The Real Work

It's been quite a few months since we "graduated" from the Orientation Program and separated off to our separate jobs. My job? Developer working with Oracle ERP Financials software/databases.

For you non-IT folk most of you, that basically means that I use programming to work with really GIANT and complicated spreadsheets. Sound complicated? It is. My internship at OU was working with these databases. It was difficult there, but I worked in my own pretend database that was all make-believe with chocolate and gumdrops. At my job now, it is not pretend and it is big and scary, almost like Mordor (and there are definitely no gumdrops). 

I LOVE everyone I work with; a team of about 8 people that have all worked here over 10 years. The tricky part is learning everything. Some days I feel like I am doing great, and others I feel like I am trying to navigate the Pacific Ocean under overcast skies without so much as a compass. This is a really hard feeling for me. I am usually great at the work I do, and generally do more than is expected of me. At my D.C. internship, I was re-named the Energizer Bunny because I did so much in so little time. These databases are just so extensive and there is so much to learn, that I know it will take a long time before I really get into a groove. I still love my job and am very happy to have it, and for that I will always be grateful!

Outside of the actual work I do, there are lots of fun things. Our IT department has holiday meals, fun fundraisers, and our team occasionally does lunch or happy hour. I even got to help plan our Christmas progressive lunch and fundraisers; it made me happy that the department wanted us newbies involved! Most days I eat in our cafeteria with about 5 other new hires from the orientation program, which makes me feel like I have a life is always a nice break from the cubicle.

Speaking of cubicles, I don't hate mine! I always imagined the cubicle life as something from a nightmare, but I don't mind it at all. Mine is pretty close to the window, and so I get to see what is going on downtown/ look at the weather as it changes.

Last of all, I walk to work. Which is AMAZING. I've lost ten pounds since moving downtown, which I directly attribute to walking so much more. Losing weight is always a happy thing!

Truth is...

The strangest part about ending a relationship is not talking. After 4 years of being great friends and 3 years of dating, we have stopped talking.

I keep thinking I should send him a text and find out how he is doing. But then I just feel like I'll be interrupting his life and I don't want to do that. I already did that by bringing our break up out of left field. I've been dating, and I won't lie-- I'm really enjoying it. It is nice to not be in a long-distance relationship. It is nice knowing that I don't have to worry about the future so much. It is nice to hang out with someone whenever I want.

Truth is: I think I made the right decision. Truth is: I still worry about if I did. Truth is: I miss him.

Truth is... I'm happy. But I am a mess.